The coming storm.

As it turns out, I have behaved admirably since my last blog. I have been writing well, I have kept to a workout schedule, I have remained positive, and I have continued to accomplish what I want in my life. New plans are blossoming, which will soon come to fruit.

The first is my adherence to my plan to take a month long vow of silence. I have planned to take it next Monday, a week from today, on the thirteenth. It will then end on the thirteenth of May. During this time, I have concluded, I will attempt to do nothing except that which furthers my plans. I will work out, eat, write, read, do my assigned schoolwork, and sleep. I will attempt to keep play to a minimum. I am not certain how much of this I can do, but without the influence of the outside world, it will be much easier. I am also allowing myself to speak for purely non-social purposes: participation in classes, basic, necessary communication, and the like. I will still permit myself to use Facebook and the like, but I will not actively work to be social on it.

I have to do this. I am uncertain of why I must do something so extreme, but all that I know is that I have to. Tomorrow, I will be creating a letter to the rest of the world, to be placed on Facebook, to alert them to my intentions. I must attempt to be basic, not flashy, not presumptuous. I will try to tell them what it is that I stand for, what I wish to accomplish. I will try to make them see what it is that I mean.

Recently, my girlfriend called me with a panicked tone. She wished to talk to me, right away. I told her to come down, and she relayed to me that a friend of hers had recently scared her, had revealed that she held depressive thoughts, and my girlfriend was afraid that she might consider killing herself. As she shook, I held her in my arms, and had her tell me about it.

There were many great moments in this conversation, because it was deep and meant, and that is where I excel. I put on a great show, but I consider myself far better when concerned with the real than with the fake. The first moment occurred when I attempted to bring myself into the conversation.

Leaning on each others noses, I told her what it was all about. I told her, that the reason I do everything, that the reason that I write, I live, I exist, is to prevent this. As I told it to her, I cried, because I could not do anything else. This was my statement of purpose, I made it clear to her. The only reason I lived, the only reason I existed, was because I wanted to help people. It was perhaps the strongest moment in my life. Crying as well, she looked up, and told me that I would achieve this, that I would do it. That was pure faith, stronger than any religion, stronger than anything on this earth. This is the stuff that moves planets.

Another moment occurred when I related a story of something that had happened earlier that day. My friends had wanted to play a game of Risk, which I had never played. They set up the board, and I studied the rules. At the end of the game, I won, controlling the entire world. However, I could only complete this victory because of a critical decision I had made, in the middle. I had made truces with many of my friends, around the table, especially one with the player who controlled America, and thus was my choice for strongest, in which I would leave him Asia if I pushed down from Europe, my continent, into Africa. At a critical point, one player controlled part of Africa, but was very weak and ready to be defeated. I had a truce with this player, but I broke it, and killed the player in that turn, taking all of Africa in the process. I honored the deal I had made with America, at the cost of the wrath of the other player. In the next turn, I took South America, and Australia. In the turn after that, I won.

I did what I had to do. I had no regrets, although the player I had betrayed was somewhat angered with me. In the end, because of that decision, I won. If I had not made the decision, I would likely have lost, and if I had made the decision but still lost, then I would have had regrets, and apologized. As it is, I did what I had to do.

I relayed this story to my girlfriend, and then told her, that this was me. In the end, I will always do, exactly what I have to do. I will reach my goals, that is all.

I will be the most famous man in the world.

Later today, I will post the letter, and next week I will say farewell. Then, I will be gone for an entire month.

The storm clouds gather, preparing to strike. The lightning is restless.