Well, I have little to say, other than that I am making progress. It's been some time since my last blog, mostly because things are simply falling into order, and the routine of it all produces few extraordinary things to mention.

Progress on my novel has been swift. I am burning through pages very quickly now, and expect to be done before the end of the year. Of course, then there is endless proofreading and revising to be done, but the fact that I'll actually have something to say for myself is exciting.

My classes have been the same level of boring that they have been before. For the most part, I sit in them, and laugh to myself at how stupid everyone sounds. Of course, I've written a blog about what I think about it, but it boils down to this, always. When there are things to be interpreted, such as novels and philosophy and acting manuals and the like, teachers seem to think that reading between the lines is the primary demonstration that you know something. In fact, there are generally not lines to read between, authors are only human, and only mean the things that they distinctly say, without bothering with the time to go so far as to produce eighty billion extended metaphors. Yet, in every class, the possibility of these metaphors is so often produced, that it scares me. To this day, in my philosophy class, we have not actually discussed much of anything that is in our texts, only what we think of it. That is a learning failure, right there. We're supposed to be learning truths, not others opinions.

My current group of friends has become more bearable. At first, I saw them as simply ordinary guys and girls, too ordinary to even like. The fact is, that while they are still ordinary, they are beginning to take more chances, do newer things. They are acclimating to the climate I've provided. I enjoy it. Also, I've become more social, as I've talked more and spent more time going to social gatherings. The apple of my eye is still far out of reach, but I'll have her one day. She is too beautiful not to.

Which leaves the state of myself. I've been remarkably confident, and am becoming more so by the second. This changes my nature, slightly, as I am being more agressive in my actions and dealings with other people. Sometimes I regret that. Other times, well, most times, I enjoy it. That's what being confident is all about. Also, I am enjoying a higher level of physical fitness than before. I am eating more, sleeping more, exercising more. I am spending more time thinking, and less time is wasted. I am learning Tai Chi, how to play the guitar, how to be a liked person, how to enjoy myself in ways that aren't wasted time, and the like.

All in all, I'm making progress. And that means, that one day, I'll be perfect.

And that means, that one day, I'll rule.

How glorious it all is!


The new year.

I am rather aggravated with the strange (un)fascination that people take with the whole new years thing. Indeed, it has been ten days since the event, but it still sits in the back of my head, annoying me. So of course, I let it out in the only place I can, here.

New Years is not a big deal. In fact, it isn't a deal at all. There is nothing to celebrate, nothing to enjoy. There is no reason to hold parties, no reason to get together, no reason to drop a big glowing ball in New York, or any of the other stupid things that we do. What is there to celebrate? The fact that time goes on? Then why not just celebrate it EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR?

The fact that you have added another year on to your life is celebrated on your birthday. The fact that we've added another year onto the calendar should deserve no birthday. The calendar, on top of being poorly made, is an inanimate object. It doesn't care when we celebrate, so why should we?

Worse is the fact that we seem to realize all this and yet still go through the motions. Of the people I have asked, most a couple weeks ago during the actual event, none actually saw any reason to be partying. Yet we did anyway. When it came around midnight time, after spending the evening doing nothing involved in the new year, we turned the television on for five minutes. We watched the ball drop, downed drinks, and then went back to normal. Our cheer was weak and ineffectual. We didn't actually care that a new year had begun.

And then, there's the business of new years resolutions. False. No one has ever followed one of those things. People don't ever follow resolutions in the first place. Nothing was ever changed in human beings in a moment of fervor. No one has ever said "I'm going to make a difference in my life, right now, and lived up to it." Human beings are incapable of changing themselves instantaneously. People are only changed by saying that they are going to change themselves over a long period of time, as they actually grow into their new ideals and forms. People change over time. The idea of making a resolution simply because it's the new year, is just as flawed. No one has ever followed these, generally not more than a day. Why bother?

There is only one new years resolution that I will ever appreciate, and it is the one I make this year and every year, and every moment of my life. I resolve to be resolute.


Back from break.

Well, it's been about a month. Not surprisingly, that month has coincided with the month that I have for Christmas break. In that month, I can assure you, nothing has changed.

I adapted with surprising rapidity to my home life. I created a new schedule that served me well. I would wake up around noon, exercise for two or three hours, play video games, eat dinner with the family, and then leave to do things with friends. Some nights, I did not do things with friends, in which case I simply played more video games, watched movies, or found other ways to occupy myself. This is a rather ordinary schedule, not the kind to be expected of me. I never like to be ordinary, but in this case it turned out the most extraordinary results.

Firstly, I was essentially an isolated person for this entire time. I had much more time to myself, much more than college ever had to offer. I had time to be alone, time to think, time to do things I wanted to do. The results? Excellent.

I had been weakening, towards the end of the last quarter. I had been questioning myself, making more cowardly decisions, and had been slacking on writing my books. I was wasting much of my time. Now, that does not happen. Over the break, I wrote another twenty five pages on my novel over the course of about three days. I received a guitar for Christmas, which I am using with great joy, and am improving my musical skills over, daily. I am now able to go back to college, with a sense of individuality and well being. My confidence has risen, and I am working at a much greater capacity than I have been in quite some time.

It seems that this break has served its purpose spectacularly.

Of course, now I have to come back to some of the same problems that I left behind. The first is my new course load. I have another philosophy class with the same teacher, the one that I despised so much last quarter. I have a calculus class at 8:30 in the morning, far earlier than I have been waking up in a very long time. I have an English class, but I applied for two. All the same annoyances, all the same problems. But of course, this will be a chance for growth. Waking up early means that I have more time to do things, dealing with idiot teachers still gives me a chance to improve my intelligence, and English is never as important as actually getting my writing done. Which I am doing, so there isn't much of a problem there.

I may have more news in the future, about certain things I plan to do relatively soon. But I can't tell you until they actually happen, or else I look like an idiot. So I'll leave you on that note, expect more.

Happy new years, everyone!